What do we want for Mother's Day?
Having asked a number of women my age this question, I am writing some of the answers i received, here.
1.Having them contact me on Mothers Day or my birthday or other holidays when family members traditionally reach out to one another, just means a lot to me.
2. We would like to see as many of our kids as possible, as often as possible.
However, In this day and age that is not possible. When I grew up most families lived in the same town almost all their lives. Visiting back and forth happened a lot. Families got together and enjoyed one another's company as they watched their children play together.
We do have avenues of communication open to us these days that I never had. There is FaceTime, Email, Snap Chat, Instagram, Facebook, and our old stand by...the US Postal Service...snail mail. It only takes a few minutes but wow...it means a lot. The other day one of my kids Face timed me and showed me their new apartment. I got to share in their excitement and see their new home. It was really fun. I also had the pleasure of seeing one of my kids that I rarely see because she was nearby on business and so we received a short but super visit. I love hearing from my kids.
3.Also, at the age that our 'children' are now, some of them will be celebrating Mothers Day themselves. That is a great joy to many of us...watching our children with their own children...watching them parent their kids and seeing the joy and love they put into parenting. We love being grandparents. We may have to travel to see them all and the grandchildren and that is not a problem. It is a great joy.
4.We would love to have them ask us questions about our lives when we were young... or the stories of when they were born. We would love to share what little we do know or remember about their grandparents. Being a parent there are myriads of things to share. "It is nice to be asked but more importantly it is nice to have you one hundred percent attentive when you are with me while i share some of these things" Feeling like you are competing with whomever is texting them at any given moment is really difficult to deal with at my age. It is frustrating.
When my kids were young we only had land lines, phones attached to the wall in the house. If you didn't pick up there was no message unless you had one of those new fangled answering machines. You just waited for them to call back. People didn't call at dinner time. One didn't have to contend or compete with texting throughout a family meal. Go ahead and roll your eyes...laugh at me... People enjoyed the company they were with. They stayed present. They gave their undivided attention to one another. And yes it takes time and effort. But that makes it even more special. Don't get me wrong. we love the great gadgets technology has given us but we feel there is a time and place for them...and it isn't the dinner table. :)
5.Then there are letters. They are still so important. Ask any older parent you know how many cards and letters from their kids they have...they may not know the amount, but you can be sure that they know where they are because they are all saved in a special place. And they are care-worn, read over and over by their loving parents.
Don't get me wrong we like it when they call to talk to us. And we don't care what time of day or night it happens. We will stop what we are doing and sit down and give them our undivided attention. We love to hear about their lives, their jobs, their families, the hardships, the joys. We love to hear about the fun times in their lives. We want to know what is on their minds. What they are thinking about the world and life in general. We realize that there is so much online that they really don't have to ask me anything any more...however, we have experience in some areas that they might be dealing with now and maybe we might have something to say that will be useful. If they ask for our opinion, we would gladly share what we think or even admit that we don't have an answer.
6.Most of all we want them to come visit. Come hang out, raid the fridge, sit for hours at the kitchen table, help with somethings we might need done. I know that in this day and age many families are spread way apart. Which makes communicating and seeing one another even harder. Jobs take up so much of their lives, not to mention raising their own families. Getting together takes considerable planning and saving as travel these days is pretty pricey too. However, it can be done.
We want you to continue sharing your life with us so whatever way works for you, is great with most of us...but there is no comparison to having you right there in front of us, in person to hug and look at and cherish. "Mothers' are like that. Yeah, they are" as Timmy on Lassie used to say.
7.We want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, we have the things we need. We have always wanted to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Mother's Day, we say "nothing" because you've already been giving us our gift just living the best lives you can...so all we want for Mothers Day sounds like a lot eh? but really just a connection...that is all. Why? Cause we love you all so much. That is all we mothers want really.