Friday, January 7, 2011

all it takes is a minute


Last year I attended the funeral of a friends’ mother.  I took the opportunity to look around the cathedral where the service held as beautiful cello music played in the background. So  many lives gathered together in honor of this woman who had affected us all in one way or another.  Many in attendance at the ceremony have had an effect on my life as well. After the service, I made sure that I spoke with a couple that I have been particularly fond of over the years. I told them how their outward caring and friendliness had made a difference in my life. Their genuine caring,a wave, a personal comment to me, including me in conversations when we were at the same events or in a local place of business at the same time. These moments were important to me.  Being able to share that feeling with them brought a feeling of warmth to my heart. I was glad I did it. There are so many times that we feel a need to write or call someone and somehow it just doesn’t happen. I felt a sense of relief that I had been able to share my thoughts and feelings with them in person.
 What is the purpose of this life? Do I owe someone something for all the joys, big and little, for the sweet moments, my children and my dear husband have brought into my life?   I didn’t have the constant of a mother’s love my entire life. Because of that fact when opportunities present themselves I try to make the most of those moments. I think it is so important to let loved ones know the pleasure they have brought to my life. I know that my kids roll their eyes at this sometimes, because when I go on a trip in an airplane I always send emails to them telling them how much they are loved. I mean it. It isn't silly to me. I wish just one time my mother had had the thought to write something in a journal to me the baby she was carrying. I would have treasured it. So I did things like that for my children. I wrote in their baby books. I wrote letters to them for a long time on each birthday and the other day I came upon a few of them. So interesting to read the things you think are important at one time or another. But the point is that if I did die my kids would have these notes and perhaps they would benefit somehow from them as well.
A long time ago my cousin who is much older than I took me into her home for a year while my father was between wives. It was summertime and I was soon to enter fourth grade with all my friends.  She was a busy, pregnant mother of four at the time. Looking back now I am totally impressed that she took me in at that point in her life. And I wanted to acknowledge that fact to her and thank her for the time and energy she put into that year of my life. So I called her to thank her for taking care of me, for giving me a safety zone and a feeling of family for a year. I remember it with great pleasure and have so many fond memories of that time in my life. She said she was so surprised and happy that I had thought to call her. It only took a moment but the net result was a peaceful feeling in both of our hearts.
 The other day one of my best friends and I were driving by the driveway of my children’s first pediatrican, Dr Scott. I saw her standing at her mailbox and turned the car into her driveway. Getting out I walked up to her and she stood looking at me for a moment. I reached out and called her name saying " Hi its Gwen! " And she fell into my arms." Oh I am so glad to see you. I think of you every year on May Day when you and the children used to bring me flower baskets. I loved caring for you and your family all those years ago." I told her that I thought of her each time I drove by her home/office. And I just could not let this moment go by without notice. She started to cry. We just held each other for a moment and then said our good byes. I will stop again soon.  I could tell it meant a lot to her to know that she had made a difference. All it takes is a minute. And a minute makes all the difference.